Finding Your Identity

We often identify ourselves with what we do and set our main goals as external accomplishments of validation. Whether thats being a football player and wanting to be a starter, or being a successful doctor and making a lot of money. However, these external labels can be stripped away from us without our control. And as humans, we hate things out of our control because it brings uncertainty into our lives. As much as we wish we could control this we can’t. The hard truth is one game you could get injured and it’d be your last. Or one of your assistants could make one simple mistake and you could lose your doctor’s license for good. Attaching your identity to these external factors also attaches your worth, your purpose, and your success in life to that label.

This often brings anxiety and worthlessness because as soon as we are not a football player or no longer a doctor we feel we’ve lost who we are. This is why so many collegiate athletes struggle with anxiety after playing their last games. We attach to an external label that we believe we have control over but in reality, we don’t have any control over it.

I’m not saying it is not good to strive to be the starter on a football team, or to want to have an immensely successful practice as a doctor. These are great goals to work towards and you should push yourself to be great. What I am saying is not identifying yourself with these labels and these goals as a measurement of success. Yes, the harder you work the higher possibility for opportunity to present itself. But the harsh reality is opportunity does not have to come.

Mike Mcdaniels, the coach for the Miami Dolphins, said it best, “How do we take control of our controllables? Thats the most important thing for us next.” Identify with something that you can control, one of your controllables. Meaning, if you’re a football player, set a goal to work as hard as possible on the field and in the film room. Set a goal to be discipline in your life. Set a goal to always give your best day in and day out. This is within your control. The only way you never meet this goal is if YOU decide you won’t meet this goal. No one else can have any control over it. And more importantly it can stay with you for life. No one can ever strip away your identity as a hard worker, or if you are discipline in your life. The only person that can take this away from you is yourself. And in knowing this, you’ll always have a sense a worth, purpose, and success in your life.

Mans Search For Meaning